We’ve all seen—or at least been exposed to the story line of—the Disney movies where the princess finds her handsome prince and lives happily ever after. Cinderella, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty. They all met with trouble and strife until their Mr. Right found them, kissed them, and it was all perfectly wonderful from then on. Let’s be honest, we want that fairy tale of a perfect and happy life. For ever after.

So here I am, living my happily ever after with a wonderful husband and two miracle children. I get to stay home with those two kids. My husband has a wonderful job that gives him flexibility to be present when we need him, and I still get to experience my career one day a week. I have the best of both worlds at home and at my office. We live in a perfect house for us. And in spite of all that perfection, life is hard, and I struggle daily. I’m lonely and insecure. The days are long with two small children who are so dependent, and I wonder daily if I’m doing enough.

The temptation at this point is to start to ask, what am I doing wrong? I am a well-educated woman with a good family, healthy relationships, and I can’t handle my dream job of staying home with my children in a beautiful house with all of our needs met? I waited a long time for this privilege. (And in the interest of full disclosure, spent many thousands of dollars getting these miracle kids here.) God, why can’t I handle this? Why do I feel like I’m drowning daily?

I’ve scoured the Bible for the verse that promises that God won’t give us more than we can handle. It’s not there. Nowhere in Scripture does God promise me that I can relax and know that He’ll only give me what my feeble humanness can handle. What I did find in the Bible was the verse where God promises “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” (II Corinthians 12:9) So God has promised that when I can’t handle what life throws at me, He’ll be there, in His perfect way and in His perfect timing, to give me His strength in the midst of my weakness.

As I read on, the author of the verse continued, “Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” I am not made to handle what this life throws at me. I am made to depend on a God Who is going to carry me through my weaknesses. In fact, when I look back over my life, I find that some of the times when I was struggling the most, is when I connected with God the best.

I’m reminded of a few conversations I’ve had with God in the past when I was struggling with being single, when most of the people my age were getting married. I finally told God I was going to do the best job of living the life He had given me to live as a single person. About the time I settled into that scenario, God changed it. Then I was happily married to the man of my dreams, and my biological clock was ticking loudly and we lost one baby after another, and I cried out to the Lord that I could not live this life He had given me on my own. It was like God whispered in my ear, “Finally. I’ve just been waiting for you to let me be God and carry you. Can I do that for you? Will you let me now?” After that, after I let go of trying to do life the way I thought I was supposed to do it to please God, and started letting God lead me and carry me, I was able to survive all of the ups and downs of more losses, more fertility treatments, more disappointments, and more just life. I was not only surviving, I was living life again. His grace was, and still is, sufficient. His strength is made perfect in my weakness.

My happily ever after looks a lot like real life, and it’s hard sometimes. Here’s the thing: I can relax in the knowledge that each day is an opportunity to love my husband and kids, to accept my imperfections, and to teach my children that this life is not perfect but Jesus is. Most importantly, each day of struggle is an opportunity to rely on God and rely on His strength in the midst of my weakness; to let my heavenly Father draw me to Him. And let’s be honest, for the believer, our happily ever after won’t really start until we get to heaven.